e101beta: my wedding cake is going to be a pizza
liampain: “who are you wearing” the interviewer asks. “marc jacobs” the celebrity answers. marc has been skinned alive and made into a dress. beautiful.
If a man ever had to witness a woman putting in...
violet-fire: My non-existent boobs block the view of my non-existent iPad when I lie down.
Me: I'm broke and I need more tampons
Dad: Ok I can cover you but just make sure you get the CVS brand
Me: Don't tell me to get the cheap brand of tampons until you're a girl and have to shove sticks up your fucking vagina every month while your body expels blood like a volcano
Dad: **in shock that his daughter knows what a 'vagina' is**
saucybacon: other girls: skinny jeans, straightened hair, handbags me: grey skin, no hair, no arms to carry a handbag, i am a rock
me: shaves legs
me: sits there for 20 minutes stroking smooth legs